A Change in Plans

When I chose the field of marriage and family studies, I planned to be a marriage and family therapist. This week in class, I considered becoming a premarital counselor, to focus on prevention instead of recovery.

Getting married, for many, can be a change of plans.

Things to consider:

Certain things should definitely be talked about and considered before making the decision to marry, including various expectations. Consider present habits and lifestyles, problems, goals, desires, children, money, sexuality, faith.

One of the most important things to remember throughout life and marriage is that priority #1 always needs to be God. God is the only one that we can always rely on and will never fail us. Think about when challenges arise in your relationship. If you have faith in God, you will turn to him for answers, and you will find them. If your spouse doesn't have faith in God, he or she will seek worldly remedies. This could cause serious conflict.

It is also important to realize that some problems, including pornography addiction, get worse in marriage. Many of the problems married couples experience were present even before they got married. Difficulties in relationships and individuals before marriage seem to remain after the wedding, in many circumstances.

Relationships Matter

1. Relationships prior to marriage are very telling of how relationships will be after the wedding.

Through my professor's counseling experience, he says 99% of the problems couples come in with were present before they got married.

So, people: be aware! Open your eyes and use wisdom to lead your life and your relationships. You don't want to make impulsive and passionate choices if they'll lead to mostly crappy times!

People don't want to marry people with problems. Simple truth. I mean, I am talking about significant problems. Basically, you need to set your own life in order before you try to live it with double the emotion, double the goals & dreams, double the heartache.

2. A father presides.

In the LDS Church, they use the word preside to describe the presence of a spiritual leader in any given church meeting or gathering.

Presiding doesn't mean they are in charge or authoritative or hold power above your own. It doesn't mean they make all the decisions. It means making things happen. They make sure the family meets together and sets up a home to love in. But the working together part is on all of the individuals!

***

I guess I just wanna say that I've had my own relationship and family issues, but I know that family matters. Relationships matter. That's who you are! How would you be here if you weren't surrounded by people? You are here because you have been involved in relationships. Let's make them good.

One last thing. I just can't get over how happy little kids can make me! Have you ever loved a little child? A niece or nephew? They just make me smile. I don't get it, but it's true.

Meeting Our Needs

I enjoyed one of our class discussions this week. Brother Williams shared a quote by John Groberg:

"You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need can't satisfy you."

If we get our needs met, we will not turn to unhealthy things in our search for happiness.

The Costs of Getting Ahead

This week in class, we had an assignment to read about families who immigrated to the United States from Mexico. The study considered the costs of trying to make a better life for themselves. Moving to a new country and making a new life meant consequences on the family. Many children mourned because both of their parents worked a lot and they were lonely. One husband compared coming home from work while living in Mexico and coming home from work in the United States. He said in Mexico he came home to a warm house but in the U.S. he came home to a cold house because before, his wife was there and had prepared food for the family to eat together and his children were there. Now, his wife was at work and the children left the house to find other things to do.

This study made me consider the costs of getting ahead for my family. Both of my parents work full-time. This prevents us from spending time together. I wish my mom could come visit me at school, but it's hard because of her job. When I am living at home six months out of the year, I wish she could come to the beach with us, but she is busy. I am used to my dad not being around a lot, but my mom is my best friend.

Because of this homework assignment, I asked my mom if she really had to work. Is having more money worth not spending more time as a family? Is there a way we could cut expenses so that only one parent works? Could we move to a less expensive state?

I realize that it is important to consider our priorities and make sure all of the members in our family are happy and feel loved and cared for, particularly through spending quality time together.

In the words of a wise man, "Love is really spelled T-I-M-E." - David A. Bednar

Classmates' Blogs

•             Alexis Priestly	http://lexandfamily.weebly.com/the-family.html
•             Ally McClain	http://www.allysfamilylife.blogspot.com/
•             Amber Kranc	http://amberkranc.blogspot.com/
•             Annabel Detering	http://thoughtsonhomeandfamily.blogspot.com/
•             Bailey Baird	http://baileybaird.blogspot.com/
•             Caitlin Schofield	http://caitlinschofield.blogspot.com/
•             Candice Merrill	http://candicermerrill.blogspot.com/
•             Cristel Carlini	http://familiesareforeverandever.blogspot.com/
•             Elisse Cook	http://lovethatlasts4ever.blogspot.com/
•             Emily Hayes	http://thenutty9.blogspot.com/
•             Erica Arguello	http://familiesconnectedtoheaven.blogspot.com/
•             Hailey Patera	http://haileypaterafamily.blogspot.com/
•             Haley Lucas	http://miissblondiiefamilies.blogspot.com/
•             Heather Christensen	http://thefamilyrelationship.blogspot.com/
•              Janaya L. Johnson	http://the-family-is-ordained-of-god.blogspot.com/
•             Jenney Premont	http://thatsalongtime.blogspot.com/
•             Julie Moss	http://lovemyeternalfamily.blogspot.com/
•             Kayleena Johnston	http://throughtheeternities.blogspot.com/
•             Kaylonnie White	http://tormentorjoy.blogspot.com/
•             Kelsey Lawrence	http://familysmatteralot.blogspot.com/
•             Kelsey Murphy	http://kelseyleighannmurphy.blogspot.com/
•             Kody Daffer	http://kodydaffer.blogspot.com/
•             Krystal Palmer	http://alove4eternity.blogspot.com/
•             Laura Hudgins	http://centeredonfamily.weebly.com/index.html
•             Madeline Vance	http://madelinemarievance.blogspot.com/
•             McKayla Nicole Hess	http://smilingfamilies.blogspot.com/
•             Michael Watts	http://someviewsonlife.blogspot.com/
•             Olivia Welch	http://thestrongestalliance.blogspot.com/
•             Patrick Williams	http://patrickallenwilliams.blogspot.com/
•             Rachel Blaylock	http://4everfamiles.blogspot.com/
•             Rachel Escobar	http://raebar92.blogspot.com/
•             Sammi Scott	http://sammischaweet.blogspot.com/
•             Tamara Handa	http://familiiesareforever.blogspot.com/
•             Tina Trepanier	http://tinatrepanier.blogspot.com/
•             Tod Flory	http://familyrelationsbytod.blogspot.com/
Clarissa Beamer
Ailli Brown
Brandi Cash
Kylee Goodworth
Mallary Goude
Emily Hayes
Allison Hughes
Hannah Joyce
Jonathon Mann
Allison McClellan
Michaela Ostler
Linda Plate
Lindy Provost
Whitney Reed
Miriam  Rios-Reyes
Sammi Scott
Titan Sweeten
Kim Tafua
Olivia Welch
Hayley Woodbury
	http://www.alicenhyooz.blogspot.com/

Introduction

My name is Ally McClain, and I am a college student studying Marriage and Family Life. I have created this blog in order to share some thoughts and feelings about the things I learn.